Marie waits for customers at the cashier's desk. She has been working at Loved Ones for eight months. (Photograph by Katie Zsenak / Nov. 20, 2009)

The lingerie shop on York Road sells more than just lingerie. Store clerk Marie reveals what her job really entails. Read more

Alli Hein waits patiently for her boyfriend to video chat her. Although they are over 700 miles apart they stay close through constant communication. (Photograph by Katie Zsenak / Oct. 23, 2009)

Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain while in college.  

Read more on how one couple in particular makes it work.

Listen: Long Distance Relationships 

Relationships help us grow and often define us as human beings, or do they?  Are relationships really just overrated? And do they help us or hurt us?  These are all questions I would like to have answered for my next story.

I plan on interviewing singles in order to find out where relationships stand in their lives.  Do they enjoy being single? Or are they constantly on the hunt for that someone special?  And if so, why? Why is it necessary to have a man or woman by your side at such a young age?

For those who are in relationships, I plan on finding out how serious college students really are.  Is marriage in sight? Or is a breakup right around the corner? I’m curious to find out the average length of most relationships and the reasons for so many breakups.

Alex Roth lies on the bed he lost his virginity in three years ago. He swears he's cleaned the sheets at least once since then. (Photograph by Katie Zsenak/Oct. 6, 2009)

TOWSON, Md. – No one is home.  Your parents are at work and you and your significant other have the house to yourselves.  Your significant other leads you to the bedroom following a path of rose petals strewn out across the floor.  You walk hand-in-hand to the bed where you make passionate love for the first time.  If this is what you expect your first time to be like, you’re living in a fantasy.  Reality is not quite as romantic. 

“Girls seem to believe that losing their virginity should be perfect and in a bed.  Guys have accepted the fact it will end up in the backseat of their parents’ car,” Alex Roth, a Towson University sophomore, said.

Losing your virginity is an irreversible step into your future.  Society often glamorizes sex, putting pressure on young teens to lose their virginity, even if they are not ready.  Teens expect to see stronger bonds form with their significant other once they have sex, and some even go as far as to think that sex will solve their relationship problems.  In actuality, sex has the ability to either strengthen or weaken a relationship.

“I think sex can be a very powerful thing and I think it has the potential to really affect people,” Cathy Sullivan, Coordinator of Sexual Assault Services at the Counseling Center for Towson University, said.  “I think certainly it can cause some stress and some strain.”

Having sex for the first time is a decision that is not always easily made.  Some people wait until they find a significant other so the moment can truly be special, while others make impulsive decisions about sex that they can sometimes regret. 

“I wasn’t ready, but then again, I don’t think you ever are,” Chris Becks, a Towson University senior, said.  “I was eighteen and drunk and knew I would have to do it eventually.  You just jump in and take a chance, kind of like love and relationships.”

Sullivan disagrees with this behavior and thinks there are healthier options.

“I think an impulsive decision or having sex under the influence of alcohol are ways where that can really cause a lot of extra stress and potential problems,”  Sullivan said.  “I think it has a lot to do with a person’s individual level of maturity and readiness.”

Those who are not in relationships often feel the most pressure, for they don’t want to feel left out from their non-virgin friends.  Some males even admit to making sex a competition.

“I was seventeen and wanted to experience it.  I was definitely ready and overdue for it,” Carlos Garcia, a Towson University senior, said.   

But while males make sex a competition, girls are often stereotyped for having high expectations of their first time and becoming too emotionally and/or physically attached. 

“I already had an emotional attachment to my boyfriend before sex, but once we had it I kept wanting to do it over and over again,”  Amy Schreiber, a Towson University junior, said.  “Our relationship became sex-based and ultimately sex ruined our relationship.”

But not all teens have felt it necessary to oblige by society’s expectations.  Many students on campus are virgins by choice and have faith that their first time will be special.

“There are sometimes when I may feel left out just because most of my friends aren’t virgins, but I know what I’m doing is right for me and I’ve never been pressured by anyone,” Allee Swick, a Towson University junior, said.

According to the Baltimore Sun article, “Revelations from Extortion Scandal May Hurt David Letterman with Women Viewers,” written by AP Television Writer, David Bauder, back-to-back scandals have considerably hurt Letterman’s career thus far, especially with women.  Earlier this year he made a crude joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter, and just recently an alleged blackmail attempt has come forth by a CBS producer.  Letterman has reportedly had sexual relationships with multiple “Late Show” staff members, even though he is a married man.

Men and women have had very different reactions to this recent event.

 ”The men I’ve talked to think, ‘How could a person within your own company kind of betray you like this?’” NBC News anchor Ann Curry said.  “But the reaction I’m hearing from women is completely on the other end. They’re saying, ‘How could you have affairs, multiple affairs, with members of your own staff and how does that create a fair and equal working environment?’”

According to Kathie Lee Gifford, it is not unusual for women to feel pressured into sleeping with their bosses, especially in the television industry.  Although the facts of the case are not yet known, Letterman’s reputation is still tarnished.

I agree with Gifford that women are often pressured into doing things with their bosses in order to move up in the industry.  Unfortunately, we live in a man’s world, and with men having the upper hand sexual favors will often get you ahead in your career.  Not all women participate in these actions, or feel pressured to do so, but the fact that even one may feel this way says a lot about our society. 

I especially enjoyed the reporting in this story, for it remained completely unbiased.  The facts of this case have yet to be disclosed and Letterman has yet to have been proven guilty of anything thus far.   The only thing I would add to the story are more quotes, just to solidify the fact that Letterman has lost some viewers.   

If you would like to read more about David Letterman click here.

“I always use contraception. I wouldn’t have sex if I wasn’t being safe. Not only am I on the pill, but my boyfriends always wears a condom as well,” Alli Hein, a sophomore at Towson University, said.

Maryland recently ranked in the top 20 states for several sexually transmitted diseases, according to the state health department; however, students are taking precautions to avoid becoming a statistic.  Condoms, birth control pills, and diaphragms are all common forms of contraception on campus.  Safe sex has become a priority, for unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are concerns of almost all sexually active students.

“Safe sex is very important to me. Children scare the ever-living crap out of me, and it could ruin my entire life plan,” Alex Roth, a sophomore at Towson University, said.

Even though taking two minutes to step away from the action and towards the night dresser might be inconvenient, it is a simple task worth performing.

I don’t need to know graphic details, I’m not sure I could handle it, but I do want to know how old most students were, and whether or not their first time was “special.”  Was it with a significant other, or was it a random person at a random place and a random time?  I’m also curious to find out whether or not there was an emotional attachment after having sex, or if it was something worth regretting.

I’m most interested in getting guys and girls perspectives on losing the infamous v-card.  Is it as special for a guy as it is for a girl?  Why did you finally decide to have sex?  Were you pressured?  Did you tell anyone afterwards or did you keep it a secret?  And finally, is losing your virginity as big of a deal as society makes it out to be?

I plan on interviewing many Towson students in order to get a variety of answers.  Everyone’s first time is different, but I’m curious to see if I will find any trends that will link our stories together.

According to The New York Times article, “Attractions of New York, Laid Bare“, written by Allen Salkin, Time Out New York has decided to include a “Sex and Dating” section as part of its editorial content. The articles have a variety of topics, like how to find strippers or when to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. The magazine also features photos of local singles. Last year the magazine decided to include nude photos of certain readers, since then causing an array of reactions. Although newsstand sales increased by 24.3 percent, not all of the readers embraced the newfound nakedness. In response to the reader’s feedback, the editor in chief, Michael Freidson, made the executive decision to move the photos to the back of the magazine, where they can be avoided.

“Not everyone who opens the magazine to find a movie to go to wants to find a photo of a veterinarian posing nude with his cats” Freidson said.

While I enjoy the idea of a “Sex and Dating” section, and strongly encourage the Towerlight to add one, I believe the nude photos may be a bit much.  Don’t get me wrong, many young adults enjoy porn, but is it possible to enjoy it while reading a magazine that you possibly share with your parents?

To learn more read the complete article here, or check out Time Out New York for yourself!!

• Safe sex/Sexually transmitted diseases
• Teenage Motherhood
• Sexual Assault
• Homosexuality
• Relationships
• Double Standard
• Losing your virginity
• Masturbation – Is it healthy?
• Positions and Locations
• Fantasy Play/ Sex Toys

Although most of my information will come directly from students here at Towson, I also plan to talk to people from different health clinics, such as Planned Parenthood and Dowell Health Center.  I plan on interviewing an equal amount of males and females because I don’t want this blog to be one-sided.  I want this blog to help people open up about the “private” issues and to not be so afraid to ask questions or seek advice.